The HR Whisperer: Sarcasm Edition

In my career, I was also a retail manager where an employee was standing behind the register, munching on Cheetos—full-on Cheeto fingers—while simultaneously hanging up white evening dresses. You can imagine the Cheeto prints on those gowns! I calmly spoke to her about it. She then said it wasn’t like she wasn’t working, all while hanging the dresses with an eye roll that could rival a seasoned drama queen. I mean, sure, she was hanging dresses—if you consider decorating them with Cheeto fingerprints as ‘working.” Then she asked “When am I supposed to eat? I’m coming to work on the train from school!” I suggested, “Maybe eat on the train on your way here.”

So, I ended up damaging out the Cheeto dresses—hundreds of dollars of merchandise that couldn’t be sold. I thought we were in a place of understanding. But then, the “store manager in training” approached me. He was new to his temporary role after a whopping two weeks of training. He said she had spoken with him about our interaction so I thought she told him about the dresses, possibly to apologize.

I braced myself for the classic, “You should have written her up” or “What’s the dollar amount loss?” But nope! He leaned in and said, “You can’t tell employees when to eat; it’s up to them.”

I was just standing there, trying to wrap my head around it. So, are we supposed to start offering a buffet at the register?

Nothing I appreciate more than getting direction from someone whose expertise is about as solid as a paper map in a rainstorm. It’s like following a GPS that thinks “shortest route” means “most confusing!” Clueless and completely off point—but hey, at least it keeps things interesting!